Idle Moments :)

I sit by my window, at my place, in the midst of all the bags my roommates could haggle, loads of unfinished work lying in front of me, university practicals tomorrow and still not more than 2 completed. I sip my tea, much-needed black tea, enjoying the wonderful aroma and flavor of it. I hear merriment in the next room and I take they are celebrating. I walk to window and look for the moon. I take in the dark clouds, chilly wind, the leaves swaying in the wind. I can hear the crickets twittering, probably looking for better shelter than my hostel.
Ah…what an idyllic moment. !
I remember, in my blog, some post, the tagged-writing one I guess, in my list of “things I believe in”, one of the things I’d written was “Happiness is definitely a state of mind”. In retrospect, what prompted me to write that? Did I always believe in that? Or did circumstances prompt me to think like that? Again, I don’t know…
But I think, at some level, I do know. I guess I realized the value of happiness after I came to Karaikudi, or, to be more specific, when I left home. Again, I come back to square one. Home.
Everybody takes things for granted. That’s…basic human nature. You take your family for granted, your friends for granted,…I guess I took my home for granted…my space. Where I had everything…my own room, my books, my comp, my T.V. and most of all, my family. Amma, who’s probably the best mom ,a stubborn, scatter-brain like me could have got. Sometimes. I mean, what have I ever done for her, except given a lot a tension and talk back. And we do fight. 

So then, what exactly am I doing nearly 100 kms away from home? Am I being a complete idiot? Or am I trying discover myself ? Bullshit !! Bollocks !! Who am I kidding? The only thing I've discovered so far is that living alone costs a lot of money, and at the end of the day, all that freedom and all, is just not fun anymore. All you want to do is eat some proper home-made food, and cuddle up in your bed.
So, where does happiness figure in all this? Miles away from home, among people I’m not sure I even like (barring a very few), what crap am I out to discover? That people can be really mean and bitchy and selfish? That there isn't inherent goodness in everyone as I used to believe? As Calvin once pondered with Hobbes “ Are human beings basically bad with some good tendencies, or basically good with some bad tendencies”( these are not the exact words. But it’s on similar lines). But yes, I have learnt to be happy about the smallest things. The long walks we enjoy around my awesome campus. The occasional eating-out jaunts that we take. The long Bajji-sessions that we have in the hostel roads, which can go on for- on some days- 2-3 hours. The steaming cup of chai and vada at the canteen at every 11'o clock break.. The feeling of being a kid again when running madly playing run and catch..
I guess that’s one thing that’s helped me remain sane in this madhouse is My childishness. Others may think it’s silly, but I find solace in it. I find refuge in that, and I find freedom in that.
And I find joy in rambling like this…
My tea’s over, some sugar crystals dried to the cup-bottom. It’s dark outside. And I don’t have any more excuses to shirk away from learning those VLSI experiments.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep
But I have promises to keep
And miles to go before I sleep…
And miles to go before I sleep…

Time *-*

A brilliant Physicist of 28 years, 

He never noticed her,

It's been three years, since they were married,

He wanted to gift her his accomplishment,

He worked relentlessly for it,

His hard work paid in full when Nobel committee rang that evening,

He had not gone home for 4 days,

He ran to home from his lab,

All He saw was, her lying cold on the floor,

Pills scattered on the floor,

....He walked with unforgiving pace,

Up and Down in the Hospital Corridor,

For first time his fear has taken toll and he prayed the Lord,

He knew he was losing Her,

The Doctor paced hurriedly outside the room,

How much more time does she have doctor?" He asked.

" A couple of hours maybe" Said the doctor sadly.
All his life as a Physicist had taught

TIME=DISTANCE/SPEED.,

But only this time, it would not remain a Constant.

He sank on the chair, wondering what he had accomplished !

Comedy of Errors :P

It still amazes me that the statement "Assumption is the mother of all F*** ups". We all seem to know what is best and what the other means without verifying it. I was totally shocked when I heard that my friend may have a boyfriend just because she goes home every weekend and speaks over phone at late nights. Everyday when she sits with me and explains her pathetic situation,  all I do is Roll over the floor and Laugh. Why ASSUME when you don't know ? That made me write this post.

In theory there are several options;

1. We assume the other person thinks like us;
As we are all human we think for and from ourselves. This means that we have a certain order in the chaos in our head that is very logical to the individual. Since we cannot look into the other person’s chaos (yet), we assume he/she has the same kind of structure, because to us, this seems logical. In doing so, we forget the fact that every chaos is unique as is the structuring of it. This structuring of the chaos is compulsory to make sense of it all. If we can make sense of something, the other person should be able to as well. And thus the assumption has been created.

2. We presume that the other party is on the same level as us;
We are all professionals, working or non working because we have a small certain level of education and or knowledge. Because of this, we should be at least on the same level of "brainpower". Even though this might be true if speaking in general, the application of this "brainpower" is different for everyone. As some people can think abstract, others might never be able to. Next to this, different levels of approach are often causing the problem. Someone from the business might have a complete different idea about a certain requirement then someone from IT.

3. We think we know it all (been there, done that);
As we meet different people, we tend to do the same thing with everyone because of the fact that this is a best practice and/or it works best for us. Which is not a bad thing obviously (don't invent the wheel every time). But by doing so, we might forget that new people means new experience , means new...well actually everything. We should not be sure that the best practice is applicable here as well without some fine tuning and adapting to the current situation.

4. We don't read thoroughly enough;
When we read documents, we can do this in many ways. By just reading what it says or intensively trying to make sense of it all and finding out if what it says really is correct. Even the later can be done from many viewpoints. We assume that statements in the documents are overall correct and that the professional that wrote it, would probably know what he/she was talking about. Especially when it seems to be very complex or Simply our Printed Lab records.

5. We don't dare to ask, because the other party might think we are stupid;
We all know it; afraid of asking a question because everyone seems to know what someone is talking about. But...there are no stupid questions, only stupid answers! We don't like to be seems as stupid or ignorant, so we just avoid asking the questions and might try and find out what is being said in another way. Or make an assumption (and there it is again). Asking questions is easy, getting answer too, this becomes more difficult as days go by , because people would expect you to know what it is about. Then again, we cannot read each other's minds.

6. We don't dare to ask, because we are stupid;
Well....that is certainly the case with some people....but actually this is a lost case...just replace them ;)

All in all, some points why we make assumptions in my opinion which is one of the biggest pitfalls of Epic flop ! Especially when assumptions across parties are made.

Most effective tip I can give is ; DARE TO ASK ANYTHING & EVERYTHING ELSE IT WILL START BURNING !

-Thoughtless Saint gave his piece of mind and well I did d some ramifications :P

It was just it ;)

They didn't talk about holding hands or hearts. She didn't expect him to take her to his family and give introductions. He didn't want to be grateful for the love she showered on him every day.  They didn't talk about how they will sit on their veranda together and watch the sunset, deciding the names for their babies. They did not discuss about what sort of car they should buy or the house they are going to build, their house of dreams. He didn't tell her how much he loved her laugh or how beautiful she looked in the morning. She didn't want him to kiss her goodnight every night. He didn't appreciate how caring she is or how she loved the fact that he made her laugh. He didn't have to remember the important birthdays and she didn't have to answer his family.

Instead, they spoke about how much they wanted to kiss. They read stories together that could turn on them. They spoke about how they can’t seem to keep their hands off each other. They spoke about luscious lips and broad shoulders. They both knew, even without saying it as much, that they would end up 'doing it’, sooner or later, because, you know, it felt like the most natural thing in the world for them.

They did not want love. That’s not what they were looking for. Love was rubbish, they both agreed. It had only brought them pain so far. Their pasts had taught them that. So they had decided, mutually, that there were no commitments from either of them. Nope. None whatsoever. They didn't want to give a name to this relationship. They were afraid if they name it, someday they may end up losing it. They were happy the way things were. He had never felt this way for any girl. No girl had ever turned him on the way she did, and she wasn't even a babe. But there was something about her. She hadn't felt this sort of dizziness around any other guy. Each time he was around, the world stopped spinning around her. It was just him and her. In many ways, they were Xerox copies of each other.

She knew that this may never last. She was no fool. And definitely not an emotional fool. She knew what kind of a guy he was. He was the kind who ran in the other direction at the mere mention of love and commitment. But at that point, that’s exactly what she wanted. No commitment. No future. No “Where is this going?” No "We'll go to Mauritius on our honeymoon." No "We'll have one son and one daughter". She was aware that at a later point in life, she might regret it, but she also knew that she didn't want to live her entire life not knowing what being passionate about someone was. She didn't want to regret that she had the opportunity to feel that way for somebody, but had let it pass because she was afraid to take a risk. She had never been a risk-taker, but she was willing take one, just this one.

And so she did. They did. It was the first time for both of them. The very first. And it was not tender and soft or anything of that sort. It was mad, urgent and crazy. It was an adventure for them.

But when it came to the actual thing, they couldn't do it. Because it was just too painful for her. They tried and tried. But he couldn't bear to see her in so much of pain. She didn't want to disappoint him, so she held back her tears . But the minute he saw her eyes moist, he stopped. "I’m sorry", she said. "Never mind, We’ll try some other time" he said.

So they tried again. But it refused to work out. Somehow, it just wasn't happening. How come when they show it in movies and write about it in books, they make it out to be so easy, they asked each other. They would try for a while, and then they would just lie there, exhausted. Exhausted just out of trying. And then gradually, they started talking more. Talking about their lives, their past, their dreams, their hopes. They started sharing about each other. They spoke about how they were both afraid to commit because they had lost faith in love. They spent many afternoons, lying next to each other, wondering what this was. He was still afraid to commit, and she still didn't know if she wanted a relationship. She even told him that if he ever decides to walk away, she will never try to hold him back, but will always think of him as the guy who had stirred never-before-felt feelings in her.

And then, somewhere along the way, it had stopped being just physical. Somewhere along the way, emotions had crept in, unknowingly. Somewhere along the way, love had crept in. The bastard.

And that’s when they stopped trying to have sex and started making love. And then it happened. Just like that. The magic happened. It didn't hurt anymore.

Maybe falling into bed together before they fell in love worked for them, in some weird, inexplicable way.

He’s still afraid of commitment. And she still considers him the biggest risk she ever took.

But they both know…

They are in love in.

Not because they were desperate. Simply because it felt like the most natural thing in the world, you know. 

Inspired by Divya and Gibran.